This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize