And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Alive.
So much puke
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize