lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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