Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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