Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
