i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
