I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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