Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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