Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We smell like vodka and hangover
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