I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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