i barfeds in our rink
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
