Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
