was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
