Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize