I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
