So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
