I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
