I seem to have left my pride at pride
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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