are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
