1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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