Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
