so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
