I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
