wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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