I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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