I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
it glows. i had to have it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
