Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
