she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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