I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Bring me that man meat
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
