You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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