nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
false alarm, still single
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
