just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
