You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
