Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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