shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
