And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize