i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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