let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
