none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Randomize
