i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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