when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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