that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
