Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
