The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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