I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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