do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
