We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
