If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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