fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
