Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
