have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
