I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
