Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
