I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
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