It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
