Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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