oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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