That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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