I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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