Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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