god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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