I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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