Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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