So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize
