The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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