drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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