Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude i'm inner monologue high
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
