i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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