Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize