Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
