Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My vagina is very pro this idea
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
