He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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