had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Mom said you looked used
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
