i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
