um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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